


use a seatbelt to strap your feelings down

by constantwritersblock



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, VictUuri, but there is, slight victuuri - Freeform, theres not a lot of victuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:36:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9899546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constantwritersblock/pseuds/constantwritersblock
Summary: Victor never liked his seatbelt.When he was a a few months old and his mother strapped him to his seat, Victor constantly fidgeted and moved. "3олотце, it's safer this way." his mother cooed. Victor whimpered and let out a cry, small hands moving towards the strap. He tried to pull it away from his body, and ended up hitting himself with his hand. The infant sobbed even louder, and his mother scratched her head.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is just a small oneshot! nothing so big! also i put in russian cyrillic, so i'll be putting the translation in the notes below the story. hope you're ready to hop on aboard the feels train! choo chooooooo!
> 
> one day i was just thinking about victor and how we don't know anything about his family, and this popped in my head. because we have no clue about whatever happened to them i was wondering if something like this made victor more distant from everyone
> 
> i didnt edit that well or have it beta'd so there might be some mistakes!
> 
> enjoy reading!
> 
> (i was supposed to write an essay but i wrote this instead lol oops haha)

"Yuuri! Your seatbelt!" Victor yelled, making Yuuri stop the car. "Love, you don't have to yell so loudly. We aren't even out of the parking lot yet." Yuuri said, grabbing the strap next to him. "I mean, I understand that it's more secure that way, but you always panic even before I start the car." he chuckled.

"It's just," Victor sighed, "I don't want you to get hurt, Звезда Мoя (zvezda moya)." 

"I'll be fine, Victor." Yuuri laughed. "There's no need to get so worked up about my seatbelt."

Victor bit his lip.  _'But there is'_ he thought.

* * *

Victor never liked wearing a seatbelt.

When he was a a few months old and his mother strapped him to his seat, Victor constantly fidgeted and moved. "3олотце (zolotse), it's safer this way." his mother cooed. Victor whimpered and let out a cry, small hands moving towards the strap. He tried to pull it away from his body, and ended up hitting himself with his hand. The infant sobbed even louder, and his mother scratched her head. 

"Vitya, _please_ darling." his mother groaned. "We don't have time for this." She grabbed a bottle of milk from the front seat and gave it to Victor.

Victor rubbed his eyes with balled fists. He looked at the bottle with a curious eye. "Do you want it, золотце (zolotse)?" His mother shook it with a tired smile on her face. Victor immediately made grabby hands for it, too distracted to care about the strap across his small chest. "Okay, Vitya. All yours." his mother handed the bottle over, and the infant put the nub in his mouth. He was instantly silenced.

Victor's mother sighed relief and headed for her seat, clicking her own seatbelt on. She started the car and went in reverse.

* * *

Victor is at the small age of 4, and he still doesn't like the seatbelt. 

It's too restraining, and he can't do anything fun when he's tied down to his car seat. 

"Vitya, we aren't leaving until you put on your seatbelt." his father turns his head to look at him.  _'Darn, almost got away'_ he thinks. "Why, пaпa (papa)?" Victor sighs, blowing his silver hair off his face. "It's illegal for you to not wear it, and it's not safe."

"Why is it not safe? It's not doing anything. It's  _so_ annoying."

"You might fall off your seat, золотце. Then you'll get hurt." his father informs him, hands still on the steering wheel. "But I'm a big boy, пaпa! I can stay in my seat! I do it at home!" Victor grunts, his arms throwing up, then crossing against his small chest. "It's different in the car, Vitya." his father turns to look at him again. "Cars move and bump around. Chairs anywhere else don't move." 

"I still don't want to."

His father sighed again. "If you put on your seatbelt, we'll go to that restaurant you really like."

"Really?!" Victor yelled in excitement eyes widening. "Yes, honey. Will you put you seatbelt on  _now_?"

Victor nodded, head nodding up and down violently. His hands grab the strap and bring it down until he hears it click. "All done, пaпa!" He smiles, his mouth shaping into a heart. "Good boy, Vitya." his father grins back.

* * *

"We can't go to skating practice unless you put your seatbelt on, Vitya."

Victor is 8 years old, a talented skater, and still a hater of the dreaded car strap.

"But, мaмa, I'm fine! I swear I won't fall off. Cross my heart!" Victor draws an X over his chest. "Victor," his mother sighs, "I just want you to be safe." she continues. Victor's parents thought that he'd grow out of his hatred for seatbelts, but the boy never seemed to. Every time they got in the car, they spend at least 15 minutes arguing over his seatbelt. Somehow, they always manage to convince him. "I don't have time for this, Vitya. I have to go to work." his mother sighed and slouched in her seat.

"You can just drive! I don't need the seatbelt."

"Yes, you do. I  _really_ don't have time for this, золотце." she leans on the wheel and groans. "Why don't you like it anyways?"

"It's too- it's-" Victor struggles to find a word. "It's too tight, мaмa!"

"Tight?"

"Yes, мaмa! It's like I can't do anything in it."

"What if we adjust it?"

Victor shakes his head. "Пaпa tried that, I still didn't like it." he remembers. His mother sighs again. "How about, if you put your seatbelt on, I'll take you shopping for skating supplies?" she asked. Victor's eyes lit up. "Skating supplies!?" The boy clumsily puts his seatbelt on. "Ready, мaмa!" he squeals.

His mum doesn't know what an 8 year old will buy or need when they go out for skating supplies, but for now, she doesn't care.

* * *

 Victor is now 12, a first-time gold medalist in the first competition he was entered in, growing his hair out, still a hater of seatbelts, and late for skating practice.

Oh, and his mother's late for work, too.

"Vitya!" his mother yells. "Get in the car! Your coach is gonna yell at you!"

Victor scrambles downstairs with a gym bag and dressed in workout clothes. He runs outside to meet his mother, nearly tripping on every crack and pebble on the way. Victor throws his bag next to his seat and climbs in. His mother is already in the driver's seat. "Seatbelt, Vitya." she said, hurriedly smoothing out her messy hair in the mirror. "But-"

"Seatbelt!" she yells at him, tone turning angry. Victor immediately grabs the strap and clicks it into the hole. He flinches when it slaps back against his chest. He reluctantly tries to relax on his seat. "Have everything?" his mum turn around to look at him. "Yes, мaмa." Victor responds politely. "Good." she breathes out, driving the car in reverse. Her hands are holding the wheel in a death grip.

The farther they get, the harder Victor's mum is gripping the steering wheel. They go faster as they get closer to Victor's home rink.

"Maмa, be careful! I think you're going too fast!" Victor yells, hand reaching up to grab the handle above the door. His mother foolishly turns around to face him. "It's going to be fine, любовь моя (lyubov moya)." 

The moment she turned back around, there was a sudden force, coming from behind them. Victor closed his eyes and screamed, hearing the loud crashing of metal against metal.

Victor felt like he was in slow motion. He could feel the car forcefully move and the glass of the windows puncture and stab at his skin. His head hits the seat in front, the seatbelt stopping him from going any further and flying out of the car. His body floated above his seat for a moment, and he felt the door on his side push his arm. Victor yelled even louder, pain and fear taking over his body. He didn't know what was happening.

When he opened his eyes, his mouth hung open. 

 _'I'm alive_ _'_ he realized, letting out an exasperated, relieved moan.  _'I'm alive'_ he thinks again, shocked to realize that. He feels a searing pain on his forehead, and his hand instantly reaches up to touch it. He feels something wet on his fingers, and brings his hand back down to investigate.

Victor sees red on his hand, and realizes that it's blood.

He gasps, hand starting to shake. Victor's head shoots up to look away, and he sees a small figure through a cracked hole in the glass. His vision blurs and clears for a few moments, before he realizes-

It's his mother.

"Maмa!" 

Victor tries to run forward, desperate to get to his mother. He's held back by something; his seatbelt straps him down to the car, preventing him from sprinting towards his mother.

"Maмa!" Victor cries even louder. "Maмa, please!" tears start to fall down his face, and Victor could taste the salty flavor in his mouth. He wails and grabs the crooked seat in front of him, crying into it. "I- I can't- please мaмa!" he mumbles, wet tears soaking the fabric of the seat. He struggles against his seatbelt once again, before he gives up. He slouches against the back of his seat and cries harder than he ever has. _"I n-need you, мaмa!"_ Victor yells.

His mouth forms into a weird shape, his eyes are wet, tears are rolling down his face, and there's blood everywhere. 

Victor feels like there's no hope left for him.

It takes the ambulance about 8 minutes to get there. To Victor, it felt like he's been sitting in the crashed car for hours.

The paramedics cut his seatbelt to get to him quicker, and send him to the hospital, alongside his mother and the driver who crashed into them. They treat some of his cuts on the way to the hospital. He cries all the way there.

The doctors decide to suture the cut on his forehead. 

_"Vitya!"_

Victor tilts his head up and sees his father running towards him, arms starting to open. He wraps Victor in a tight embrace the moment he's close to him. "3олотце, I- I- don't know what to say." his dad starts crying, and Victor could feel the tears on his scalp. 

He starts crying, too.

They're interrupted when a doctor clears his throat. He's holding a clipboard and wearing a white lab coat. "Is this a bad time sir?" he asks.

"No, no, it's okay."

"Okay." The doctor clears his throat again and squeezes the clipboard in between his armpit. "As we all know, your wife and son got into a car crash." The doctor looks at Victor's father with unreadable eyes. "Your son here, Victor, luckily survived without any major injuries. He can be discharged from the hospital tonight." 

"Unfortunately," he sighs, "your wife- she must have forgotten to put her seatbelt on. When they were hit, the force and impact made her fly out of the vehicle." he looks down and breathes. "I'm afraid that she didn't make it."

Victor and his father froze. 

 _'My mum- she's dead!_ _'_  

"I-" Victor starts to shake, and his eyes start to water. He buries his face in his hands and sobs. _"M-мaмa!"_

"We're so so-"

Victor suddenly hears the sound of a jaw cracking. He looks up and sees that his father had punched the doctor in the face. Security immediately run to restrain him. "Sir, calm down!"

Victor shakes his head and runs to find a private space to cry in. He could hear his father shouting at the medical staff as he leaves.

He doesn't care that his father would be worried sick about him.

He just wants to be alone.

* * *

"Victor?"

Victor suddenly darts back to reality. "Yes?" He responds. He realizes that he's been quiet, staring out the front window for quite a long time now. "Are you okay?" Yuuri asks.

"Oh- sorry, darling! Just blanked out for a moment. I'm fine." Victor apologizes, smiling. "Oh, alright then." Yuuri says, obviously not convinced.

"Are you sure?" he asks again.

"Of course, любовь моя!"

Yuuri bites his lip and sighs, deciding to ask him about what he was thinking of later. 

**Author's Note:**

> ahh idk if the medical stuff about the car crash and the cyrillic is accurate! forgive and correct me if it isnt!  
> Translations:  
> 3олотце (zolotse) - my gold/gold  
> любовь моя (lyubov moya) - my love  
> (these ones are obvious but whatevs lol):  
> пaпa (papa) - father/dad  
> мaмa (mama) - mother/mum


End file.
